NGANU

How the relationship between parents can make or ruin the lives of their children

I recently saw a movie on Netflix titled NGANU and it raised a few concerns I want to share.

Nganu is the story of a man who when he was young, repeatedly saw his father abuse his mum physically. On one of the days, while watching his father beat his mum, he decided to act, he picked a big stone and killed his father with it but it was too late, his mum was dead already from his dad's pounding.

The trauma led Nganu to become exactly like his father, and he was known throughout the community as a wife-beater. He would often replay the images of his father beating his mother while he beat his own wife in the presence of his son. Unfortunately, there are many people like Nganu out there.

I have been exposed to countless stories of children whose academic performance and behavior have been negatively affected by the turmoil of their home lives. I have learnt from my mum through her extensive experience as a primary school educator that children who are subjected to constant conflict, verbal abuse, and even physical violence in their homes often find it difficult to focus on their studies or engage in healthy social interactions.

Many children have no good stories to tell about their homes. They find it quite strange that their parents, who are respected in church and society, come home every day to trade insults and punches.

Many boys have grown to become like Nganu because they grew up watching a wife-beating father. Many girls have grown to endure domestic violence because they saw their mothers endure it for many years, while some others have learnt to insult their husbands and maltreat them just like they watched their mothers do to their fathers.

Dear parents, your marriage to your partner may be a "mistake" if that's how you feel, but as soon as you have children, that marriage now has an obligation to them.

Let me show you something from the Bible; Malachi 2:15 (TLB) says " You were united to your wife by the Lord. In God’s wise plan, when you married, the two of you became one person in his sight. And what does he want? Godly children from your union..."

God's vision for marriage extends beyond the happiness of the spouses; it encompasses the well-being and spiritual growth of the children they bring forth. Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents to create a nurturing environment that fosters love for God and men, respect, and a strong sense of self-worth in our children.

It is better to stay single or to get married and decide not to have children than to bring children into this world and ruin their lives because of your flaws as partners.

Dear unmarried young person, think! pray! Learn! and be led by God before making marriage commitments. Marriage is not a fleeting fantasy; it is a lifelong journey that requires commitment, patience, and a willingness to work through challenges together. Also remember that it's not just about you, there are innocent children whose life can be destroyed by virtue of the failure of the home.

For those already navigating the tumultuous waters of a troubled marriage, there is hope. God's healing power can transform even the most dysfunctional relationships. Seek His guidance and allow Him to mend the broken pieces of your marriage, creating a home filled with love, peace, and harmony.

Let us remember that our actions and decisions as parents have far-reaching consequences beyond our own lives. We must strive to create a world where children are not burdened by the weight of our marital struggles, but rather nurtured and empowered to reach their full potential. Together, we can break the cycle of violence and foster a world where every child experiences the joy of a loving, stable home.